23 Years of Watching People and Money series
One thing I've learned after more than 20 years of working with families is that financial worries don't disappear with age.
They simply change.
Younger families often worry about paying bills, buying a home, or raising children. Older families face a different concern: "Will I outlive my money?" But there is another worry that seems to persist regardless of age or net worth. Parents worry about their children.
I've worked with parents whose children were in their 20s.
I've worked with parents whose children were in their 40s and 50s.
The concern remains surprisingly consistent. Parents worry about whether their children are saving enough.
Whether they are taking on too much debt.
Whether they bought the right home.
Whether they are making good financial decisions.
Whether they will be financially secure.
What has always fascinated me is that many parents are often more concerned about their children's financial future than their own.
Even when retirement planning should be a priority.
Even when they themselves worry about outliving their money.
Love has a way of reshuffling priorities.
Over the years, I've seen parents offer down payment assistance, provide loans, help with childcare expenses, and create financial safety nets for their adult children. Most of these actions come from a place of generosity and good intentions. However, I've also learned that helping can become complicated.
Sometimes parents create solutions before understanding what their adult children actually want.
Sometimes expectations are never discussed.
And sometimes what begins as support becomes a source of frustration for everyone involved.
The families that seem to navigate these situations best are not necessarily the wealthiest. They are the ones who communicate clearly.
They discuss expectations.
They define whether money is a gift or a loan.
They understand who is making the decisions.
They are willing to have uncomfortable conversations before misunderstandings arise.
After 23 years, I can confidently say that older people worry about outliving their money. But I can also say something else. Many parents never stop worrying about their children's finances. No matter how old those children become.
Financial worries don't disappear with age. They simply change.